i am sorry! :(

Of what use is my mind now?
i feel like an idiot here.
My mind conjures up not one verse.
My heart can forseek not one meeting with You.
My brain can never sop thinking of You (even now), but can't do so completely.
In my life, i find myself in an utter mess.
What do i do, dearest Lover?
What of those pure, pristine moments i had the great opportunity of sharing with You?
What of Your little gifts like those regular visits in my dream?
What of those surprises You swung up each time?
What of those flowers You would so wonderfully give me?
What of being lost in Your loving embrace?
What of wallowing in Your love?
What of secretly ling so i could meet You, or get something for You?
What of my dreams, of planting a little kiss on You?
What of those times when i could cook for You?
What of that simply extraordinary joy of looking at You?
What of that supreme satisfaction in serving You?

Do u now find me unworthy of You?
Or was i always, and now so in a worse state?

Where are You, my Lord?
Forgive my heart for becoming such a debris dump.
Come, dearest Lover, adorn Your throne- o Monarch of My Mind!

You are all i have: i wouldn't be fair to leave me.
No, i have never lost Your support, but i yearn for You, my Lord.
You know the pressures i face: half due to my inactivity, and half due to the fact that i have a board exam coming up!
The first problem compounds the second one by a hundred times!
You are my Guide: i trust none but You.

But do not leave me thus in a desert of loneliness.
i am sorry i end up being so preoccupied...it's all my fault.
But i love You, absolutely.
Please understand my state, and do not keep me away.
i cannot stand distance from You.


Yours forever, in Love.