This blog is dedicated to my dearest Krishna...mostly poetry, sometimes through the words of a Gopi, and sometimes, just my own musings...

Monday, August 23, 2010

After a Long Time...

When the clouds enveloped the sky:
Your beautiful complexion i experienced;
When the clouds of distress crowd my life:
Oh! Let me Your companionship experience!

Am stranded in a desert- lonely and sad;
You are the only respite i have had;
O Mukundha! Come, slay these demons that haunt me:
Your very presence lends vigour and glee.

O Krishna! Monarch of my Mind:
Do You, my mind, unworthy find?
Help me clear the debris away-
So that it is worthy of Your stay!

In the path of life, somewhere stranded-
(As i have all along blundered):
Dearest Parthasarathy! Lead my way:
From my goal, let there be deviations nay.

O Epitome of Forbearance! Am sorry to have tested You:
O All-Forgiving One! Sorry, for i implored again and again!
O Sweetheart! Let my instability not do me (from You) apart:
Unto You surrendered, help me play my part!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

i am sorry! :(

Of what use is my mind now?
i feel like an idiot here.
My mind conjures up not one verse.
My heart can forseek not one meeting with You.
My brain can never sop thinking of You (even now), but can't do so completely.
In my life, i find myself in an utter mess.
What do i do, dearest Lover?
What of those pure, pristine moments i had the great opportunity of sharing with You?
What of Your little gifts like those regular visits in my dream?
What of those surprises You swung up each time?
What of those flowers You would so wonderfully give me?
What of being lost in Your loving embrace?
What of wallowing in Your love?
What of secretly ling so i could meet You, or get something for You?
What of my dreams, of planting a little kiss on You?
What of those times when i could cook for You?
What of that simply extraordinary joy of looking at You?
What of that supreme satisfaction in serving You?

Do u now find me unworthy of You?
Or was i always, and now so in a worse state?

Where are You, my Lord?
Forgive my heart for becoming such a debris dump.
Come, dearest Lover, adorn Your throne- o Monarch of My Mind!

You are all i have: i wouldn't be fair to leave me.
No, i have never lost Your support, but i yearn for You, my Lord.
You know the pressures i face: half due to my inactivity, and half due to the fact that i have a board exam coming up!
The first problem compounds the second one by a hundred times!
You are my Guide: i trust none but You.

But do not leave me thus in a desert of loneliness.
i am sorry i end up being so's all my fault.
But i love You, absolutely.
Please understand my state, and do not keep me away.
i cannot stand distance from You.

Yours forever, in Love.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Not Able to See You!

Those whom from my heart i love:
They have climbed a hill to see my Love;
Standing majestic on the hill- o the One i love:
When will You upon me Your kind grace bestow?

My eyes are indeed unlucky:
For to see Your beautiful form, today unworthy!
My hands are indeed unfortunate:
For today, they couldn't, in front of You supplicate!
My feet are in a state quite pitiable:
Not having been able to walk to the Lord so adorable!
My heart wallows in a sea of sorrow:
For it couldn't embrace the Vanquisher of Sorrow!

You stand on a rock, and of the whole Universe take stock,
And unto You multitudes of Your devotees flock!
i type here- alone, and for company my memories:
Of how each time, You won over this insignifant heart!

O What wouldn't i give for Your one smile
To cast its spell on me and my senses deride?
O What wouldn't i give to see Your lotus-like Eyes
That, in a maddening way, the world entice?

O What wouldn't i give to feel secure
Embraced by Your love so genuine!
But i have already given myself to the service of Your feet:
Alas! Even those beautiful Feet i cannot see!

O Monarch of my Mind:
Of Your beautiful Eyes, grant me but one glance;
Of Your sweet lips, i beg of but a loving smile;
Of Your kindness, dearest Lover, i beg of but one meeting:
You are my All, and for You this heart goes on beating!

(This post is dedicated specially to my dear Lord Srinivasa, Tirupati)

Sunday, August 8, 2010

How can You be soooooooo nice??

i find myself lacking in verse.
But i have to write, so please lend me Your ears, or rather, as this is a blog, Your beautiful, lotus-like Eyes!

What do i write, my Lord?
You have me totally dumbfounded by Your mercy!
Where Your one glance steers away the talk of sin, Your one touch bestowed upon this poor girl all the wonders in the world!
Where merely thinking about You fills the heart with sweetness profound, Your one wonderful act of mercy leaves it maddeningly happy!!

Indeed, the first day i got to stand close to You, i said : Kill me, now, my dear Krishna, for my life can't get better than this!
Maybe You laughed!
Now, each and every time i see You, i lose myself to You, in a different way.
Indeed, how better can life get?
But yes, it will...for the next time i see You, You will leave me astounded again!
For such is Your nature, my dearest Lover!
You are so wonderfully blemishless, no one can ever disapprove of You!
How lucky i am, that i fell in love with You, as even my mother can't find a fault in You ! :)
But, i am always lucky, for You are with me.
i will be unlucky in Your absence, and i don't see that happening, by Your kind grace.
Ofcourse there are times when i get luckier, and luckier, and luckier, but as long as i am with the Master of the Universe, and as long as unto the Goddess of Fortune, am surrendered, i will be forever lucky, as i'll have Your wonderful association.

Coming back to disapproving, it hurts me so much when someone says something wrong about You.
(Ofcourse, i do make fun of You, but that is a totally different issue.)
It hurts me so bad when i find myself incapable of telling them how wrong they are, for all my debating prowess, Your gift which won me so many prizes, is a mere waste then.
It's not like i don't trust You, or that i doubt You. Never!!!!
But, the strong reasons i found to trust You, i cannot list out to them.
The wonderful way in which You so kindly bless those who come even an inch towards You, i cannot explain.
i find myself weak, incapable, and woefully ashamed, and at the same time, deeply disgruntled.
i have neither knowledge nor conviction to prove the points that i have found to be sooo true!!
Ain't i a bad devotee of Yours, in that respect?
Will You be kind and merciful on me, like You always have been, and bless me with whatsoever be it that i need?

Forever Yours,