Krishna...am sorry...and thanks for making me Realize...

Dearest Lord,
What do i say?
i chided You, got angry at You, when none of it was Your fault.
i was angry coz i could not see You.
i was upset as i had lost the privilege of being with You.
But, i forgot, that all this was happening because i love You.
i forgot to tell You, or show You how much You mean to me.

And, then, You made something (i dunno what) clear when i talked with a few devotees.
And then You showed me this wonderful video.



How could i ever think of blaming You, dearest Lover?
These pictures are but signs of Your loving nature!
You are my all, and i am Yours.
i had no right to the dramatic stupidity, and no reason too.
You were, and are, always here, and will always be there.
Am sorry, for being so horrible.
Please forgive me.
Come back, dearest Krishna, and teach me a lesson in love anew.
Maybe this itself was one: to love You without expecting in return.
i am lost here, if You will not come.
You are my Everything, if You abscond, then there is nothing.
Come, come, come....dearest KRISHNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i should have realized when You showed me the guru in my dream...
i should have realized when You saved me...
But no...am stupid.
AM profusely SORRY.
KRISHNA!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am surrendered unto You.
Am at Your discretion.
Whatever You do, o the One i Love, i am Yours, and Yours forever.
Just let me serve You.

KRISHNA!!!! (Calling Out)

The thoughts of Your radiant smile dazzle me,
The memories of Your beautiful face teases me,
Your beautiful peacock feather, dancing along, seems to call me,
O Krishna! Where art Thee?

The jewels that adorn Your chest,
The beautiful garland hanging from Your neck,
The armlet on Your sculpted arms, and Your torso without a vest,
And, yellow garments, on my Lord, who makes the yellow sun look like a peck.

The sunlight in Your eyes,
The moonlight in Your smile,
The sky in Your complexion,
And, oh! the Universe is in You!

Ah! The jingling trinkets of Your feet,
Your toe-nails, so beautifully neat:
Oh! Your iron pillar-like thighs
And, beautiful, lotus like feet!!!

O! This heart unto You surrendered,
Do not tear it asunder:
At Your discretion, At Your disposal,
O! From sorrow, by Your grace, grant me an arousal.

Searching in these woods, for You in vain,
My heart seething with pain,
Would You please not come, dearest Krishna!
Isn't hide-and-seek too kiddish, O Krishna!?

If i have wronged- forgive me,
For, there is no other but Thee;
O! O! O! This girl begs to behold Thee!!!
O! Like You once did, Hold me!!

The Curtain

When i have not even requested Your help,
You are still there, with me-every step;
Yet, when the heart yearns for Your presence:
Why do You punish me thus with Your absence?

When i call out, in times of need, to Thee:
That very moment You are with me!
But, oh! Just one glimpse of You would do:
But, to come to You, i am bound by nature's curfew!!

i cannot come see Your beautiful face,
Nor do i get to stare unabashedly at Your radiant smile;
You have me here tied up by nature's lace,
And, damn me, even You have not come here, flashing Your charming smile.

O Lord! Am at your discretion:
So, You alone are responsible this no-win situation;
Why seperate me from You, my Lord?
Why play games when i need You, dear Lord?

My head is spinning,
And my heart is o'erflowing-
Love it is, mingled with deep sorrow:
Would You not grant this dark night the dawn of 'morrow?

Krishna...

When You from the Gopis stole butter:
They chastised You, little stealer:
But deep down, You made their hearts flutter:
Do let me touch those hands, dear Lover.

When You kicked the life out of a lifeless cart,
And the wretched demon a lesson taught:
Your beautiful feet turned red- did they not:
O! To serve them a boon may i have begot!

When You dived into poisonous water, deep by miles,
Your people- oh! Their senses were deriled:
And then, You came out dancing, and with a beautiful smile:
Will You not bestow upon me that smile, for just a little while?

When You put Your lips to a bamboo rod:
And produced many a melodious chord;
The whole world was listening to You, all their worries lost:
Let me but once hear that divine music: deny me not!

(a few days later, i continue this post i left that day...i do not get back the same state of mind to continue the poem, so i will fill in my thoughts today)

When You grant but one glance,
You leave everyone in a stance;
To serve You, give me infinitely many a chance-
And oh! let me get a chance to praise Your every nuance.

i asked Krishna...

i asked for a glimpse:
You gave a treat for the eyes that missed!

i asked that i may to You belong:
You held me close, all along!

i asked You that i may be able to serve-
Even then, You took care o overwhelm my nerves!

i asked You to live with You, forever:
You are giving a house so close to You, dear Lover.

i asked for forgiveness:
You gave me togetherness!

i asked You for so many things:
You granted all i needed, smiling.

Yesterday, i asked:
How come You aren't in my dreams-
As a reply, i saw, in that realm, the perceptor:
You are asking me to work harder, it seems!